Trigger Response Skill: STOPPED
Here I present a Trigger Response skill. This is a modification of Marsha Linehan’s STOP skill that combines several other skills into one integrative skill. I call this the STOPPED skill. Use this skill as soon as you are triggered, start to feel a strong emotion, are focused intensely on negative thoughts, or feel distressed in any way.
S - stop. freeze, if you are overwhelmed by emotion, don’t say a word or move a muscle. Visualize a stop sign or gently but firmly tell yourself to stop thinking the negative thoughts in your mind or stop feeling the emotion right now. If you are alone, say “stop” out loud.
T - take deep breaths. start breathing in through your nose for 4 so that your stomach rises, holding for 4, and then exhaling for 5 through your mouth like you are blowing through a straw. Take a step back - look at the situation from all perspectives, and take a time-out if the emotion is too strong to avoid blurting something out or acting unskillfully if you stay in the situation.
O - observe. Observe your thoughts and use counterthoughts to talk back to yourself gently. For example, If you first thought is, “I am never going to get this done in time.” Use a counterthought such as, “I am going to work my hardest and get as much done as I can, and that is all I can do. I can be proud of my hard work.”
P - Proceed Mindfully. Decide if another skill needs to be used to get down to baseline.
P - Pair with muscle relaxation. Do a body scan, tense any muscles and release them. Stretch your entire body to release any pent-up tension from being triggered.
E - Express the emotions that are coming up. Journal, talk to a validating friend or family member, or tell your counselor.
D - Dialogue. Talk with a friend or partner if needed to resolve a conflict or decrease the likelihood the trigger will occur again. If the trigger was another person’s actions, consider talking to that other person. A simple formula is I feel _____, when _____, can you please _______. For example, “I feel scare when people raise their voice in anger, can you please call a time-out if you are getting frustrated so that you do not end up raising your voice at me?”
Need Help Applying this skill?
Therapy: If you live in the state of Missouri or live in Kansas but can travel to my office in Brookside KC, Alex provides therapy that includes skills training. Alex accepts Aetna, FSA/HSA cards, and will give you a superbill to submit to insurance for a percentage reimbursement on your out-of-network benefits. Her session fee is $150 if you do not have insurance.
Group Option: Come to our Living Skillfully group Mondays at 5pm CST online. It is $30/1.5 hour session. Email info@mosaicmh.com to enroll.
